Deadly Honesty

There exists an adage saying, "Honesty is the best policy". Now to most people, this adage just means that one must be honest and keep lying to a minimum. Others may believe, when in doubt, be honest. I'on the other hand, can't really say I believe in the adage. That is mainly beacuse I find it very hard to lie conciously. Through some miracle (fortunate or unfortunate, you decide) I've been given the quality of unconscious radical honesty. No matter how hard it is to believe, trust me when I say that I have no control or, to put it in my terms, I have no ' filter between my mind and my mouth". Now this quality of mine has led to many awkward situations in which I'm surprised to say I've not walked out unscathed.

My cousin once took me to his friend's wedding as I was alone at home with him and he had to attend it. The wedding went of pretty well and the food was laid out over a huge area. As you all already know, me and food have a karmic connection. Quick as a flash, I visited every single stall there was and reported my opinion of them to my cousin even before he had finished congratulating the bride and groom. As we were eating, I was suddenly struck by a doubt I had with my computer. My cousin being a technical genius, already having built a lock for his room using a gaming keypad and a few pieces of iron to simulate a password-locking system, I posed my question to him. One of his friends decided to get fresh with me and asked me to pose the question to him. I turned to him and asked him if he knew anything about computers. I didn't know at the time that he was my cousin's boss and much more qualified than him so when he said he knew a bit, I condescendly told him that the question involved more knowledge than he possesed and said he didn't deserve to be asked the question, turning away from him. I guess being snubbed by an 8 year old is a big ego breaker. Ever since then, my cousin has been very careful about taking me anywhere involving his friends.

Another instance was at a wedding I attended. My mom's cousin was getting married and the ceremony was on it's way. People were still arriving and being received. Just then, a cramped van came outside the hall and (through my perspective) a ruffian wearing bermudas and a shirt clambered out. I later came to know he was my mom's other cousin. But at the moment, I walked straight up to him and asked him why he came to wedding looking like a beggar and how come he couldn't clean up. Flabbergasted, he just stood there staring at me, wondering how a 9 year old could even come up with opinions like that. My mom later pulled me away, yelled at me for not having manners and let me off with a warning never to say things like that again.

Over the years I matured and tried my best to control this wicked tongue of mine but it never worked. Just a few years ago, I told a girl she was fat ( which caused her to stop talking to me for a week) and told another one she had dandruff (which caused he to stop talking to me for 6 months). On the side, I still find it difficult to undertstand how having dandruff is worse than being fat. In my defence, I only said those things because I had them too and thought people wouldn't mind knowing. More recently, I also told a certain milky white complexioned (almost albino) teacher of Brit Lit that her smile was creepy and that her earrings looked like white chocolate in addition to asking Mrs.Matthews why she doesn't brush her teeth, leaving them plaque-ridden. Just yesterday, I asked 3 of my classmates if they really were blonde or if they were faking it.

I'm serious when I say I can't control it. No wonder I don't have too many friends. But still, it's the way I live my life and try as I might, I can't regret it. Being a journalist may be a good option for me but I wonder if I'll actually live that long to see it happen..... ;)

Çiao!

Bio Lab Diaries

The Bio Lab and I share a very intimate relationship; so intimate in fact that I keep getting thrown out after 10 mins inside it every single time. The teacher fears my entry and the Lab assistants keep the door open for me. Lets start with my 10th standard. The scene is my final Bio practical exam. By some evil idea of God's or Fate's, my practical exams always tend to before lunch. I had an experiment where I had to check how the absorption of water differed in raisins in different liquids. I was really hungry so I quickly finished the experiment and ate the raisins. The teacher comes around saying that she needs to check my results and I tell her I've eaten the raisins. She looks at me like I'm some freak of nature and I break into frantic persuations. I convince her to give me my marks but she warns me not to this in an exam ever again.
Circa 2010. In my 12th standard Bio Lab. We had a Botany class and had to identify the different infloresences (the type of flower from which) of many fruits. I enter the Lab and there before me are an array of different fruits, all cut in half!! I freaked out and went straight to the teacher and asked her if I could eat some of the specimens. This being one of the first few classes, she didn't know me too well and thought I was joking and said fine. An hour later, as the class is leaving she screams that the fruits have been eaten. I, being a very honest (ahem ahem!!) boy, said I ate them. She comes up to me and with fire from her nostrils asks me how and why I did it. To this question I gave her a simple answer,"Ma'am, I asked you if I could and you said it was fine." The teacher was dumbfounded. She just stared at me and asked me if I was real. I just said it was what I did and walked off. Another day, we had to make thin sections of the given plant stem and show it to her. Once again being before lunch, I ate the stem given and found to my delight, it tasted like beans. I went through 3 or 4 pieces before she became curious and asked me how come I wasn't getting it. I said that I had already finished my work and was eating the rest of the specimen. She once again stared at me with a half- angry, half-extremely amused expression. I just told her that I was hungry. She pleaded with me not to actually do this in the exam. Now, I've always had a problem following orders. So the exam didn't go too well for me. I showed up as usual to the lab and found that I had an apple for my infloresence question. The invigilator was very attentive so I couldn't actually eat the slice in fron to of her, but I couldn't resist! I took a bite and she must have heard the crunch. She pounced on me and yelled at me for eating the specimen, asking how the rest of the people would identify it. She warned me she would give me a zero iof I did it again. So I diligenbtly finished my work and waited until everyone was done. Before I left, I asked her,"Maám, now that the exam is over, can I eat the rest of the apple?". The look she gave me said it all so I quitely left the place.
Í am now an Arts student so no more labs. But I still wish I could go back to my old lab one more time. The fruits are calling me....   ;)

Çiao!!