Friday, 10 June 2011

Going Out

I hardly ever go out. It's not by force that I don't, it's just that I have ths notion that if I have to go out somewhere, I have to trouble someone to come with me; and I hate causing other people discomfort. Also there's the fact that I have to spend money (I admit this makes me look like a cheap-o but I'm not, seriously. I just don't like spending my parent's hard earned money). But then, there's another side to the story, something that I just won't admit but have to sometime. I like being alone, but crave friendship, a paradox I haven't been able to neither understand nor resolve. Everytime I go out anywhere, I feel like I'm doing something wrong and want to just rush back in. But once I'm among friends, the feeling disappears. When it's time to leave, I feel this sense of loss and get depressed for about 3 hrs before I get back to normal. I question why I feel this way, but no answers yet. Why does leaving people affect me worse than others? Is it something wrong with me? Or is it normal? I just don't know. All I do know is, everytime I leave the house, I know whats in store for me; and hence I fear going out.

2 comments:

  1. Firstly, don't worry about it, it's more common that you think.
    Well,according to me, I think you feel thingified coz you're a bit insecure. You feel low you don't want the good times to end for fear of when you're going to have them again.You've just gotta realize that if you've got friends who want to hang out with you you've got nothing to worry about! =)
    Besides, you're more of an Introverted person who likes the quiet life. So if you know people who understand that you'll be in your element anywhere you go! =)

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  2. Tarun... going out can actually result in some interesting times... :)

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